Vast Horizon News Headlines
Dated: Sunday October 25th, 2220, 8:05 p.m. Combat and Drama
Headline:Quite a scene was caused when an unnamed Farold Defense Officer and several new pilots in their freighters took on a Kiohn invasion force in sector 2. Amidst the shooting with weapons, the Officer in question and a Farold Defense Captain also shot with words, the Captain threatening with loss of wages. Things got particularly problematic when it turned out Chrylia, a planet well known for its riches in minerals, had no Starship Armory whatsoever.
Dated: Saturday October 31st, 2220, 10:56 a.m. Shocking
Headline:With the threat of an invasion looming, Farold Chief of Science, Human Rights Activist Maggie Turner and a variety of pilots celebrate an all-out party in the Oria Town Square. They brought food and drinks and have been seen totally relaxed and without a worry in the world.
Dated: Saturday October 31st, 2220, 6:50 p.m. Frying Pans
Headline:Rumors say that Maggie Turner defends her diner from zombies by hurling frying pans at the ugly creatures.
Dated: Saturday October 31st, 2220, 8:21 p.m. Girlish screams!
Headline:Banker Randy Keller lit up the night with his, "girlish screams," noting that zombies were in the bank. Pilots came in to rescue the poor, man. Rumor has it that he dove up onto the desk, heels and all.
Dated: Sunday November 1st, 2220, 5:02 p.m. Stanton's Revenge
Headline:Pilot Lexie Stanton was in the middle of a firestorm from pilot Dave Steve yesterday. He accused pilots of having a party before the pending invasion. He said, "I will never sleep in public."It turns out that Lexie Stanton gets her revenge for Dave's bashing her when she brought sustenance to the pilots at the town square. What did she do? It's simple, she caught Dave sleeping in public.
Dated: Saturday November 7th, 2220, 7:02 p.m. smooth talkers
Headline:Rumor has it that Giovanni Darkenum is on a quest to be the best smooth talking pilot to exit the caverns. Women, watch out for this one.
Dated: Sunday November 8th, 2220, 11:32 a.m. Love Lost?
Headline:Sources report unrest in the Turner home. According to friends of the twin children, their parents simply do not get along anymore. The reasons sighted were political.
Dated: Tuesday November 10th, 2220, 11:07 a.m. Bottle It.
Headline:I spoke with Human Rights activist, chef and restaurant owner Maggie turner about her recent experiences in space."To see the void, you know, just gaze out of a porthole and see, space, is an amazing feeling. But then to be aboard the same ship during a combat situation? It was exhilarating! I wish I could bottle the feeling and send it to all people who are down below in the Caverns, scared to abandon the safe haven and discover what is really out here. Ok, being aboard a ship that was being shot at, and hearing our weapons fire, of course that was a tense experience as well. Still, the bravery of the pilots, facing the Kiohn and fighting for continued freedom and survival, that was quite something. I am grateful I took the opportunity to travel with COS Michelle Faro when she decided to demonstrate one of her ships to a small group of pilots."
Dated: Tuesday November 17th, 2220, 3:12 p.m. Festive Farold Fun!
Headline:Shortly before 3PM a loud laugh broke the silence of our phones. Soon thereafter a jolly Farold began talking to pilots. After some cheerful interaction, the Farold reminded people that an entire month of festivities would begin next week to celebrate family and community spirit.Ace Chef Maggie Turner said that she will once again provide a free Thanksgiving meal to all, while the Farolds will be laying on the alcohol. Meanwhile Sam the Grocer announced that he would be soon offering a new product, but was tight lipped on the details. The dance competition will have new competitors this year as more people arrive from the caverns.Before more laughter from the Farold Fun Enforcement Officer, it is confirmed that there will be a number of other surprises throughout December. Pilots cheered and seem in high spirits as they look forward to Thanksgiving next Friday, the 27th of November.
Dated: Monday November 30th, 2220, 12:58 a.m. gender division for bikes
Headline:Pilot Jonathan Brown has been known to hand out money to a female or two for the purchase of a bike. When a male asks about bikes, Brown advises to purchase your ship first, bike later.
Dated: Wednesday December 2nd, 2220, 12:14 p.m. Party East of The River!
Headline:Pilots Dunnel McKinnin and Giovanni are holding a party for pilots and anyone else who wishes to come on Thursday, 12/3/2220 at 6PM. It will be held on New Netherlands on the east bank of the river just south of the bridge. Food and drinks will be provided. All are welcome.
Dated: Saturday December 12th, 2220, 8:55 p.m. Drakes Rule everywhere?
Headline:At the tropical diner on Kizak there was nearly a fight when a patron insulted Natasha Drake. Saying that they are surprised she came from her brilliant father. The woman, likely a former employee of the Drake family, was then verbally assaulted by Cat Sandes, who was dining with Natasha. Diner employees quickly defused the nearly hostile situation by informing the woman that she would have to leave and Miss Drake was apparently fine to stay.
Dated: Saturday December 19th, 2220, 7:16 p.m. Festivities
Headline:Earlier today, citizens of Oria as well as a number of pilots gathered in the town square for some seasonal festivities. There was live music, with dances and songs being performed, and a story teller to entertain the children. This year, well known banker Randy Keller oversaw the celebrations. He began by telling a story about the significance of the tree."In the caverns, we celebrated this time of year in different methods, depending on many things. Coming up here, the farolds had turned it into something that we all could feel comfortable celebrating, unity and freedom. This tree signifies that."Keller then invited the guests to enjoy the drinks and snacks that had been prepared, as he took each individual who requested it to the Festivities Booth to receive their gifts. The party was a great success, and a toast was given to the future, when all of Humanity will be able to live above ground.
Dated: Tuesday December 22nd, 2220, 10:20 p.m. Rafts for pilots?
Headline:During a Drake rant over finding a sleepy street pilot on her walkway, Cat Sandes suggested that pilots be tossed on a raft so they can float away. While others mentioned a raft, they did not go quite so far.
Dated: Thursday January 21st, 2221, 12:53 p.m. Pop Star leaving Caverns
Headline:In an interview, pop star Jessica Barker, known from her debut album "Beautiful Dreamer" and her current hit "Loves you, loves you not", has announced that she is making plans to leave the Caverns. "I think the time is right to move out and make a life for myself," said the 22-year old singer/songwriter from Sector B when asked about her future plans. when asked where she intends to live, she said: "Satra-17 in The commonwealth of Satra is where many recording artists seem to be settling. They have several great recording studios, and people who can help me get further with my career. I have already been in touch with a producing team who seem interested, and I am looking for a new voice coach over there too. Most importantly, I am really done with a stone roof above my head and I need more space to develop my creative side and writing skills." When Barker will travel above ground is not clear, due to a Riphenol shortage in combination with some riot related issues.
Dated: Friday January 22nd, 2221, 10:11 p.m. Crazy pilot?
Headline:Well-known combat pilot Jonathan Brown admits to being crazy over the general channel. How does this bode for pilots in general?
Dated: Sunday January 31st, 2221, 10:53 a.m. Dictator's wife useless?
Headline:Gabrielle Faro, a highly placed assistant to the dictator was overheard stating the dictator's wife is useless.An anonymous source claims she said, "I told him, and the others, if the Dictator sent his wife, she would have no choice but to go, even if there is nothing she can do to help."Her reasons are unclear, whether it was just a power play, or even perhaps jealousy, but our source tells us that Gabrielle is quick to point out her position when opposed, and perhaps those higher-up should take a look at this ambitious Farold's motivations.
Dated: Saturday February 20th, 2221, 8:57 a.m. Big Plans
Headline:Several members of the ultrarich Kamprad family have recently left Sector A in the Caverns and made it above ground. Only days after settling into their new home in Oria, Mr. Kamprad was interviewed by one of our journalists. "We want to own a planet!" he explained when asked about his future plans. He went on to say: "I want to do my part to insure a bright future for humanity. And if you want to really make it, you must think big, and make long term plans." Kamprad explained he realizes that owning a planet is a tall order, and he and his wife hope to find a suitable planet and set up home for a few million Humans and Farolds. The Kamprads hope that their dream will be realized by the year 2275. Mr. and Mrs. Kamprad are already in their early 40s, so chances of them still being alive in 2275 are low. When asked about this, Mrs. Kamprad said: "But our children and grandchildren will be alive, that is all that matters.
Dated: Thursday April 1st, 2221, 4:43 a.m. Pilot taking too many pills?
Headline:HPA pilot Tara Miller admitted over general that, "pills work for me." This may be a concern that be addressed by the HPA prior to people becoming pilots.
Dated: Saturday July 3rd, 2221, 9:48 a.m. Pills, again?
Headline:Pilot Dayna Bell is another pilot in a long string of them who enjoys her pills so much that she would "die," for them.
Dated: Sunday July 11th, 2221, 12:07 p.m. HPA's most eligible bachelor
Headline:Pilot Michael Grey seems to be the HPA's debonair man of the galaxy. The question being bantered at the water coolers of The HPA and government center secretarial staff is, who will hook the man?Will it be Dayna Bell, Gemma Holmes, or girlfriend of inactive HPA chair Zachery Hendrix, Railey O'Shei. Rumor has it that she is the front runner. Drama is abound readers!
Dated: Wednesday July 14th, 2221, 2:11 p.m. Wallets in pockets for men only?
Headline:Pilot Gemma Holmes stated, "It's a man thing," on the general channel. This was during a conversation in which she was confused as to why pilot Wilson Ericson keeps garbage in his pockets.This has already outraged a few lesser known pilots and the good folks hanging out at Ed's bar and grill. "It's a very sexist remark," Maggie Turner stated.
Dated: Saturday October 9th, 2221, 12:50 p.m. Natasha Drake a prostitute?
Headline:Natasha Drake, HPA chair person, was heard on the general channel offering a deal to former cavern pimp Emily Hernandez. The rumor mill has it that Natasha is looking to be pimped out, possibly transitioning out of a pilot career.
Dated: Saturday October 23rd, 2221, 2:56 p.m. Dictator still listens to mom and more!
Headline:Dictator Blazer Faro went against the advice of her security team and hung out in the jungle with pilot Michael Roberts. Larkra Faro supporters show up and promptly shot them both. The dictator fired back in true Blazer fashion. The dictator mom then got involved and ordered her daughter to get home. Blazer complied as any good daughter would do.Apparently Blazer still wants to keep her pilot friends when she showed concerns for pilot Cat Sande's love life. From how the conversation went, apparently these pilots fall in and out of love with someone on a weekly basis.Blazer is certainly a different type of dictator, one that the public is mostly behind. This is a reprint as ordered by the dictator, who also levied a fine against the daily news team.
Dated: Thursday December 16th, 2221, 10:49 p.m. What are they smoking in the jungle?
Headline:Chair Cunningham just announced that her boyfriend, pilot Scott Northrop is in love with a turtle. It makes one wonder, do turtles have three heads or are they smoking something funny out there? Maybe it's one of those zoology professors being loopy again.
Dated: Saturday January 1st, 2222, 9:20 a.m. Pilots ring in 2222 in style
Headline:Pilot Dayna Bell had a lavish party with fireworks, food, drink and, purportedly, Indica Sativa paid a visit.It is rumored that pilots lost their memories of the event and even the dictator was visiting Sativa.
Dated: Thursday March 10th, 2222, 4:38 p.m. Dictator urging sexual advertisements
Headline:Dictator Blazer Faro was overheard encouraging Dayna Bell to advertise her desire to be involved in a favorite pass time of many, sex.This took place on the general channel and is entirely factual.
Dated: Saturday March 19th, 2222, 8:24 p.m. PSO loses ship due to cupcakes
Headline:Blazer Faro's personal security officer, Hunter Trask, lost his freighter today. Rumor has it that he was indulging in cupcakes, got distracted and his ship went down at the hands of the Kiohn.
Dated: Tuesday June 7th, 2222, 9:09 p.m. Purple And Pink Smoke? It's A Party!
Headline:It's the Kiohn's birthday! They brought 21 ships in on a challenge for a party! They even brought pink and purple smoke. So many people are wondering why they couldn't be apart of the fun. I think the Kiohn arranged something with flight control, because they seemed to have joined in.Just another day of a pilot life. Partying with the Kiohn.Partying it up, Kiohn stile!Yay!
Dated: Sunday June 19th, 2222, 12:33 a.m. Love is in the air for the Farolds?
Headline:Love Sure Knows How to Move in the Farold RaceEarlier today, Dictator Blazer Faro and Seneschal Kaylenne Buchanan were among those involved in a conversation regarding romance. Encouraged of course by the pilots over the general channel, both ladies expressed their lack of partnership and the likelihood of it relating to their roles.Likewise earlier this week, dictator Eva from Zion Trading Post instigated a possible date between both figureheads, among whoops and hollers by the community at large. Discussion relating to bedroom talk seemed to have the Seneschal in a flustered tizzy, while others teased and seemed to enjoy pushing the issue. Has a date between both women been planned? Will they join forces as dictator Faro was the one to put former pilot Buchanan in her current position. What comes next for these high-profile ladies? Stay tuned!
Dated: Thursday June 23rd, 2222, 12:56 a.m. Is the dictator stepping out?
Headline:During a sexual innuendo sacrifice conversation, the dictator pointed out a nice looking lady pilot. Sandes, who is supposed to be deeply in love with a long distance pilot, claimed she too would enjoy the sacrifice. Who will get the lovely lady pilot? Stay tuned.
Dated: Wednesday June 29th, 2222, 9:52 p.m. Business partnership rumor.
Headline:Rumor has it that assistant DOD and PKA pilot are planning to go into some crafting business together. Details weren't provided by the research station source but this was said.Is it an equal partnership or is someone on the take?What about the Kiohn shipwrecks? If not violent, should PKA members be earning possible revenue from these?
Dated: Saturday July 2nd, 2222, 11:16 p.m. Shooting lost pilots?
Headline:The pilot most call Gio was heard issuing warnings that he will shoot anyone who gets lost. What is going on within the ranks of the pilots?
Dated: Monday July 4th, 2222, 12:39 a.m. Seneschal and Dictator Gallivanting?
Headline:Dictator Blazer Faro and palace Seneschal Kaylenne Buchanan Spotted on New Netherlands Amid Dating RumorsEarlier this evening, several reporters for the O Daily News were alerted of the sighting of the powerhouse pair walking arm in arm throughout New Tillberg's busy streets. The pair, who were seen laughing and sharing looks all while Seneschal Buchanan made a rude gesture at the news headquarters, seemed in no rush to be departing from one another.The pair, who have sparked countless rumors topside as news of their budding friendship turned serious, have not been spotted together in public until today. Keep your teacups prepared for this piping hot tea, folks. This might get interesting.
Dated: Friday October 28th, 2222, 11:39 p.m. The carnival comes to Oria
Headline:The Satra villages, and cities to the west have been tinkering with carnivals for years. Finally, the citizens of oria get to see their creations. "This is the biggest carnival we've had, and thanks to the dictator, better rides! We are so excited," said carnival manager Emandre Faro.Emandre was a historian who began studying entertainment from earth. He fell in love with the carnival concept and began to evolve them for the hegemony. "Most outside Satra 10, 11, 24 and 4 have not seen the carnival. Larkra would never give us funding and so they were kept real small. More like a school carnival. We came together with a couple people from the western cities and began to try better development for this entertainment venture," Emandre continued. "Blazer gave us the go ahead and a little funding so that we could ensure the safety of our rides."The citizens from Oria and neighboring areas are excited and the carnival is expected to draw huge crowds and lots of money. It will open 10/29/2222 as part of the 1 year UI celebration.
Dated: Wednesday January 11th, 2223, 8:28 a.m. Playing hard, working... Not at all?
Headline:Earlier today, an anonymous tip was received by one of our editors, informing us that HPA first fleet pilots might be spending more time in the bedroom than on the job, some having 3 or more secret partners!"It's honestly happening," our source stated. "They're finishing with one, and moving somewhere else for the next!""It's even happening over text," an unnamed representative for the Farold phone company told us in a written statement. "Sometimes while they are still with someone else."So what do you think, dear readers? Should these pilots be made to work as hard as they play?We will update this article if we can reach anyone from the first fleet, but this editor thinks that might be slightly difficult.
Dated: Monday January 16th, 2223, 12:56 p.m. Randy Keller threatening Pilots?
Headline:Rumor has it that pilot Jerry Hawkins is the hit Man for banker Randy Keller."Imagine that Michael, Imagine getting hit with one of Randy Keller's high heeled shoes, because you didn't repay your debt? That would definitely be, something."Hawkins relayed this information in the icy cavern in his mild, relaxed style. This is why he is a perfect fit for Randy, and we all know what messages like the one delivered mean.
Dated: Friday February 17th, 2223, 11:44 a.m. To grandma's kitchen we go?
Headline:Grandma's is a lovely restaurant on New Netherlands. Nobody was paying attention to various conversation as people dined and relaxed on the cold winter evening.Until, "Poi clons no ze bigger person. Poi took a long vacation just for rho. Poi will ruin someone for uoi." rang loudly through the establishment.Patrons couldn't give much information but one did tell us that it looked like a splitsville issue where the friend was trying to wrangle control of the situation from the one who was splitting."I'm having a hard time letting go. And I just feel numb really. Tinged with sadness. I really thought," one lady told reporters that the starlet said during her friend's angered state.One man speculated, "Stone cannot arrest her, she's close with the dictator."This is sure to gain a response from our ever vocal dictator.
Dated: Saturday February 25th, 2223, 11:52 p.m. Local Restaurant Temporarily Closes
Headline:Starting tomorrow, fans of Rayford's Good Eats and Vittles will have to wait a bit longer before they can enjoy the delicious cuisine at this favorite spot.According to the executive chef, the decision to revamp the menu was made after careful consideration of customer feedback and the owner's own desire for, "some of his mama's good cooking". "We're always looking for ways to improve the dining experience for our guests," he said. "Updating the menu is one of the best ways to do that. And why not include some of my mama's recipes to bring us back to the good ol' days?"The new menu will feature a range of traditional dishes, all from the Billings' family recipe book. "We believe that our customers will appreciate the bold, new flavors that we're introducing." During this time, the staff will be busy preparing for the reopening, which could be as early as March 5th. The restaurant's management is encouraging diners to mark their calendars for the grand reopening."We can't wait to unveil our new menu to the public," the chef said. "We're confident that our customers will be impressed with the new offerings, and we look forward to serving them soon."
Dated: Sunday March 5th, 2223, 11:46 p.m. Good Eats and Vittles welcomes new menu
Headline:Today, Rayford Billings and his talented staff at the well-known Good Eats and Vittles welcomed new customers to try their new southern-inspired cuisine. "This is just like Ma used to make!" exclaimed one customer while feasting on some Southside catfish. "This bear claw is out of this world!" another cried as she purchased two dozen. While Billings was not available for comment, the executive chef had this to say, "He sat here and taste-tested every recipe until it was perfect. All the spices were out of this world! Mr. Billings left very satisfied, and rumors are circulating that he might be in talks with other station leaders about sharing his mother's recipes far and wide.
Dated: Wednesday April 5th, 2223, 6:52 p.m. Chairs and pompoms?
Headline:Zombie Cheerleader Turned Chair: Undeserving of the cutBy Tilly McmillanWhen people think of Aurelia Montrose, they may recall her in short skirts, pompoms in hand as the titular vapid cheerleader in a horror movie franchise as she flips, kicks, and cheers zombies to an early demise. Opting for a new stage as a pilot, Aurelia has come to some prominence with an inferior child's movie with one-dimensional characters and no depth.Most, however, will remember her as the strung out failed actress addicted to a drug called soothers, and her most recent stint in the news regarding her failed romance. Soothers, a medication generally used for treating anxiety, is a drug often taken by actors to help with better performances in their shows. It runs rampant in the caverns and many use it for its potency.In an interesting turn of events in court, Aurelia Montrose was awarded her latest role as the chair of the Human Pilots Association, a position that she has not shown interest in or worked for at all. One wonders then what Judge Kensington may have been thinking. Of course, with all of the upheaval of pilots in general, no one can be surprised that incompetence and in-fighting continues to rule the day.Miss Montrose was removed from her previous position working for the dictator, likely due to her continued drug abuse, in spite of unsubstantiated claims of rehabilitation. One wonders if the position of chair can be managed while the actress in question is in the middle of withdrawal and emotional instability.Will the HPA go on for another season, or will its swan song be sung as it is canceled, much like every other show that Montrose has ever been a part of? This reporter believes that this is what happens when unqualified people are placed in positions for which they have no credentials, and no amount of splits, high kicks, or cheering for the zombie team can ever fix that. Unless, of course, the failed actress finds her courage at the bottom of another pill bottle.
Dated: Saturday April 15th, 2223, 8:16 p.m. Gallery art Contest
Headline:Today, the art gallery has There are some who say that pilots protect us from sudden doom. Others say that pilots do what they can to stand in the gap between humanity and certain death.But during the early hours of April 28, 2023, this reporter realized that there is something that happens after dark that turns these stalwart space defenders in to sexually uninhibited individuals who allow their needs and wants to rise to the occasion.What began as a discussion about ships became a greater discussion about using wipes, fingers, and lack of discretion. Even those who are rumored to have partners were in on the conversation, leading me to believe that the piloting community has a vibrant swingers club and a sexual underbelly that may rival even the most sordid of places.There is much more that I could report on, but to hear such blatant sexuality along with other pilots being willing to assist in lending a hand? Do pilots know where their partners sleep at night? There is certainly a great deal more to be discovered by this group as we delve deeply for answers.
Dated: Wednesday May 3rd, 2223, 4:22 p.m. DF Commander Natasha Drake pulling favorites?
Headline:Rumors are circulating within the Dictator's fleet that Commander Natasha Drake may be playing favorites when it comes to promoting officers to key positions.As much as the piloting community seems to enjoy bashing news, they sure have not learned to keep their mouths shut and private matters out of public. First rumored to be heard from White at the HPA chair Montrose's newly acquired cafe located by the icy caverns, and then heard again from White himself at the breakfast lounge at the drake hotel.According to sources close to the fleet, longtime security captain Vergil Stone was announced to have departed within the past two days. In addition, another pilot has issued a threat to all fleet members. But it is the latest news that has caused a stir among the ranks.Greg White, who is not officially part of the DF, has reportedly been telling anyone who would listen that Commander Drake personally asked him to fill in as the new security captain. White's promotion has come as a surprise to many, as another officer, Jodelle Love, was believed to have been showing significant promise and was expected to be promoted.What has raised eyebrows even further is that White's appointment seems to be a case of favoritism on the part of Commander Drake. Reports suggest that Love has been overlooked in favor of White, who is believed to have personal ties to the commander. Let us not forget, ladies and gentlemen, the rumored whispers pertaining to White's involvement in a series of missteps on a trade trip almost two months ago.The news has caused tension among the fleet members, with some questioning the transparency of the promotion process within the DF. Calls have been made for Commander Drake to clarify the selection criteria for key positions and ensure that all officers are given equal opportunities.We reached out to Commander Drake for comment but have yet to receive a response. However, sources within the fleet suggest that the commander may be playing favorites and using her position of power to promote individuals with whom she has a personal connection.This latest controversy has cast a shadow over the DF and raised questions about the leadership of Commander Drake. We will continue to monitor the situation and provide updates as they become available.
Dated: Sunday May 14th, 2223, 1:49 a.m. Ball At The Grand Palace!!
Headline:You are invited to the first ever Annual Summer Ball beginning on June 24th.All are welcome who wish to attend and there will be an art contest to determine who has the best piece!You may bring whomever you wish and dress classy, because this is going to be an event, folks.Art submissions will be judged, and a prize will be given to those who are worthy.It will be held at the Grand palace!The rules are as follows:Contest Rules:1. Eligibility: The contest is open to all artists/sculptors who are 18 years of age or older.2. Entry Requirements: Participants must submit an original piece of artwork or sculpture, which must be their own creation and not previously exhibited or published.3. Submission Guidelines: Entries must be submitted by June 10, 223. 4. Theme: The artwork/sculpture must be related to masquerade, whether it be the history, fashions, or cultural aspect5. Judging: The entries will be judged based on originality, creativity, artistic expression, technical skill, and adherence to the theme. Votes will be cast via terminal at the ball.6. Prizes: There will be three prizes awarded, from 1st, 2nd, to 3rd place. Prizes to be determined.7. Ownership: By submitting their work, participants agree to give permission for the artwork/sculpture to be used in any promotional materials related to the contest at the Wrothchild palace.8. Copyright: The participants retain the ccopyright to their artwork/sculpture.9. Disqualification: Any artwork/sculpture that is found to be plagiarized or not the original work of the participant will be disqualified.10. Public Display: The winning entries will be displayed in a public exhibition for a specific period.11. Liability: The contest organizers and sponsors are not responsible for any damages or loss of artwork/sculpture during the submission or exhibition process.12. Submission Deadline: All entries must be received by June 14, 2223, at midnight. Late entries will not be accepted.Happy Summer Solstice!
Dated: Friday June 2nd, 2223, 4:49 p.m. Look At Me!
Headline:Look at me, Look at me.Note, this is an adult-themed article. Please do not read it in front of your children or if you are the person who gets offended easily.The most trending event these days as the summer approaches is that people in Gonrah are going to spend their holidays at our lovely Kizak island. The people who are doing the transportation service are pilots.Although it was good to see many heartwarming things going on during these transportation's like happy families traveling together, passengers singing happily and the normal transportation fights such as two people fighting on a seat, what was concerning is seeing some people pull off their tops to show off. This has annoyed some pilots as this is not the place for it, which I agree with. While the ship can seem like a home as it is with windows which lead directly to space and a huge control room, they are not alone, and they should be considerate of others when you do this. Some pilots think that this is the normal occurrence when someone is going to a party, which I might agree with to some extend if they are going to a night club or something along these lines, but they should save these things when they are home at Kizak in the resort or during the party. After all, No one can control how they behave in private as it is their business, but, in the ship situation it is not a private place. It is just a means of transportation.That is all for today, I shall See you in my next article.Until then, Stay safe and happy holidays!Michael Roberts.OH, Daily News.
Dated: Sunday June 25th, 2223, 7:39 p.m. Pilots distancing?
Headline:This just in from a reliable source. Pilots talking in the jungle about recent invasions made it known that, "the dictator insisted on helping."Photos were declined to be shown amidst rumors of press crackdowns. But, this shows a divide between the dictator and pilots.
Dated: Sunday July 30th, 2223, 9:41 p.m. Kiohn Cosplay Goes Wrong
Headline:Despair in the SquareBy Jay Kanzig*Photo: The photograph is taken of government square. A tall individual stands with a mask which accurately depicts the face of the Kiohn. A large pole is in his hands as he takes a menacing stance. The picture is taken in such a way that the face of the mask is front and center, practically coming off of the screen.What recipe do you get when you pair up children with three very prominent Hegemony citizens, a pinch of boredom, and one HPA chair still apparently reeling from her stint in a Kiohn bubble?*Photo: The next photo is of the space beneath government square. The chair is beneath the bench, attempting to shield herself with a box resembling a mail crate. Her face is pale and stare vacant.Jeremiah Faro, Andrew Blake, and Darren Barkley have come under fire for devising a scheme to dress up as a Kiohn, complete with their choice of weaponry. And while some may wonder the wisdom of this plan in light of many invasions, perhaps the greatest lack is in their parenting. One must wonder what values these children are being taught at home to come up with such a plan.How has living in the veritable lap of luxury and privilege contributed to the delinquency of the offspring of the quote unquote Hegemony's finest?Just as concerning is the reaction of the leader of the HPA. Anonymous sources believe lack of good health and these strong reactions to what some call a harmless prank could be a liability and security risk. Some suggest it may be best that another chair be appointed. After all, ineffectual leadership could trickle down, putting the HPA at risk.What say you, readers? Harmless prank, or detrimental distress? Perhaps the biggest question of all is how the parents of these children can ever show their faces again and what, if any, will be the long-term consequences for all involved.
Dated: Saturday August 12th, 2223, 10:42 a.m. Wrothchild Palace Seneschal gone mad?
Headline:Dear readers, It is an early morning article but I come to you with interesting news right now, Kaylenne, The palace Seneschal for Wrothchild palace is reported to have a mental disease. How did I know? Listen to my full story.I was passing by the landing pad of Oria to find Michael Roberts, standing with the dictator Blazer Faro, The HPA Chair Aurelia and Genna White, Dictator's secretary with The Palace Seneschal Who is having a great mental illness from what I have read. They were acting as if they were in a dinner room and eating cake and It seems from my observation that Kaylenne was thinking of Blazer as Blazer's mom.The pilots were writing notes to each other via a dataslate shared amongst themselves which revealed all facts."She is having a delayed confusion from bell bugs was one thing I managed to discreetly pick from the pilot's notes and The Chief Of Science has been notified. There were cakes all over the pad and plates with Kaylenne attempting to secure Blazer who she thinks as Blazer's mom so that Blazer doesn't get sad with pilots around her. All means were utilized including showing Blazer's sword as if Blazer's Mom got it from Blazer to soothe Kaylenne but It didn't work, Kaylenne At first thought that she was late, then thought food was falling and then thought she must guard her from harm. Afterwards I couldn't catch much as I was noticed by Roberts who as some of you know only reports facts and attempted to shove me off but I told him that I'll gossip about The dictator and who was there and left laughing, ignoring him.However, After I left, this story got more and more interesting as I saw college students, returning from a party and claiming seeing Kaylenne using the sword to crash an android who was scanning ships.Dear readers, I ask you, Do you think that she is able to continue as a pilot? Do you think that she is mentally fit to continue as a Palace Seneschal for the Wrothchild family? Was she dating with the dictator as some articles claimed in the past? I'll leave you to decide. For now, Chill.Note that Arnold Aradi was there, conversing with the dictator by reading lips method, and farmer boy Jackson managed to disarm the chair, while elite guard Linda Cavot finally disarmed the crazed pilot.This was an anonymous reporter, Telling you what the government is hiding.
Dated: Saturday October 28th, 2223, 3:08 p.m. Pilots suspect the dictator watches them through clocks.
Headline:A discussion on general about Blazer's face on the clock cropped up. Now Captain Casolona is moving her clock from the boudoir to prevent Blazer from watching her extra curricular activities.Tim Gates, at your newsworthy service.
Dated: Wednesday December 6th, 2223, 9:43 p.m. Is it sex or sex therapy?
Headline:A group of pilots were at the Kizak pizza place, presumably having a birthday party. As the conversation ebbed and flowed, HPA chair candidate Alyona morozova proclaimed, "I am blaming all of you horny bastards."As they worked out how the conversation went into a sexual nature, pilot Selena Ramirez stated, "it is what we do."Onlookers with children promptly left the establishment when conversation switched to the threesome topic. Therapist Dante Smith confirming he does not do burritos and Morozova passing on some good chair advice when she stated, "you three need to get laid. This was in reference to Smith, Ramirez, and Casolona.This reporter wonders, are pilots really so deprived that they have to swap around all the time? Or, does too much time in space cause a huge sex drive that can not be tamed by attempting to have a monogamous relationship. Which is why, most don't.Teddy Warner
Dated: Wednesday January 17th, 2224, 11:17 a.m. Harem news corrected
Headline:It would seem that the harem conversations had over general have spawned into a real one being established. This has been done by the secretary to the chair of the HPA, former ground captain, and a long time new pilot. There are rumblings that a doctor of science may too be involved.We make sure to only print the facts and made sure to correct this one. Exclusive contracts are also being signed by the secretary's harem.
Dated: Friday January 19th, 2224, 4:30 p.m. New pilot high on drugs and shot the DF commander?
Headline:New pilot Bethany Arkana admitted to being unable to afford her supplier. This concludes our investigation that the shooting of DF commander Natasha Drake on the Oria landing zone, was, in fact, drug related.Her own words, "perhaps I do not want the world to know about my perfectly legal crazy supplier. His demand would go up and therefor his prices. I could not afford that."Legal suppliers always do illegal things too.
Dated: Friday January 19th, 2224, 5:46 p.m. Trouble in Paradise?
Headline:With the dictator looking on on the landing zone a short time ago, captain Jodelle Love was seen plopped on officer Aaron Hatfield's lap. One must wonder if there are roses or thorns in the secretary to the dictator's home life.
Dated: Tuesday January 23rd, 2224, 10:03 a.m. HPA Chair's bedroom habits revealed
Headline:Today on the Kizak beach, the newly appointed Chair Arkana was quoted as saying in a discussion with Vice Chair Morozova and Greg and Genna white: "what can I say. I'm a freak in the sheets... of paper."The question is, was she really referring to paper?We will update as we find out more information!
Dated: Friday January 26th, 2224, 12:06 p.m. Fleet officer attempts to take an elevator from the government center.
Headline:*A photo showing Greg White attempting to lift an elevator. A second photo shows it inches from the ground.*Some things speak for themselves. This is not false news.Reporter Nikki Wilson
Dated: Friday January 26th, 2224, 12:26 p.m. What are pilots doing in elevators?
Headline:Our newest power lifter Officer elevator lifter white, had the following to say over the General channel.If the elevator's a rockin' don't come a knockin'.What are pilots doing in our elevators, as well as trying to lift them?
Dated: Wednesday January 31st, 2224, 6:43 a.m. Dictator vandalizing the landing zone?
Headline:It is a well known fact that before entering the FDD, the dictator was a typical teen from Randre. She was in court for vandalizing property a few times.*A photo showing Blazer spraying Taela Miera with a fire hose on the landing zone.**Another photo showing Miera in a provocative salute pose on the landing zone.*Onlookers were the vice chair and an older gentlemen who seemed a bit surly at times.*Another photo shows Olivia Casolona assisting the dictator in her antics by side stepping those who tried to hide behind her. If you look close, you can see the current NPA, Freya Aradi taking a little water.**The last photo depicts the dictator on her knees in front of her provocative saluting pilot, with vice chair Alyona Morozova in the background.*Some citizens pose the question, should the dictator behave like this? Austin Turner was quoted as saying, "She's the dictator you fuck heads," he then proceeded to moon those he was addressing for good measure.Tina Andrews, reporter.
Dated: Thursday February 1st, 2224, 1:10 a.m. HPA chair position cursed?
Headline:As many of you readers may remember, it was revealed that former Chair Montrose had an addiction. Many of you spoke out then, but how about now? During a powwow on the infamous KB landing zone, it was revealed by BFI Officer Layman that new pilot Taela Miera was protecting the new druggy chair. So the question remains, dear readers. Is the position so stressful that pilots are turning to drugs? Is the dictator so desperate to fill the role that she'll just let anyone take that position? Can we trust these pilots in these positions? How long before more addictions curse these high-ranking positions of Security Captain? Commander? Rumor has it, it's already spread to the vice chair. Stay sober, folks.
Dated: Thursday February 15th, 2224, 6:02 a.m. Bloodletting the New Up and Coming Sport?
Headline:Dear Readers,As I sit here, contemplating my very existence on the journalism scene, I overheard HPA pilot Taela Miera on the general comms say this, "With talks of HPA members being potential vampires, we can only assume these claims of the new HPA kink sport, Bloodletting, are in fact valid. In addition, the HPA's favorite office chair, Bethtub Arkana, has been seen donning frightening leathers and daring poses on the landing zone. Is she the next vampiress to be born from this concerning epidemic? Will the HPA ever be the same again? We'll keep you updated as we learn more, and remember, gossip is the only true wildfire."That's a great question. A very, very, great question. This is Timothy Hawkins, looking for any scoop to save my career. Keep pouring that tea.
Dated: Thursday February 15th, 2224, 5:19 p.m. Vice chair plays with guns?
Headline:On the general channel this evening, it was made apparent that the vice chair and her fiance use guns in their foreplay. This had a concerned former space combat captain assessing the situation with a stuttery, "right, right?"Pilot life seems to be getting more and more crazy.Reporter Anne
Dated: Thursday February 15th, 2224, 10:34 p.m. My how they swap
Headline:Former palace worker Kaylenne Buchanan who used to be seen on the arm of the dictator has now moved on to a hard nosed fellow from the cavern, aptly named, "old dude."Sources state that there was an issue involving now imprisoned former FDD member, Anika Faro prior to this happening but my how quick they change. "Yup, sulking around the landing zone to being all happy in days," one worker stated. "It's no wonder the dictator is coming to hate the pilots." In other news on this topic, the dictator appears to be all smiles and happy as she practically taunts the photographers to get a photo of a stark naked Taela Miera. Onlookers were members of the office of the chair, members of the fleet, and more. Bets are being placed at the chicken palace to determine which relationship, fling, or other, will last.
Dated: Saturday February 17th, 2224, 4:00 p.m. HPA Chair in jail again
Headline:At 3:51pm today, 2 guards were spotted Hauling HPA Chair Bethany Arkana to jail once again.By our records, this is the third time this has happened since she has taken office.Place your bets now how many more times until she resigns!
Dated: Friday February 23rd, 2224, 6:23 a.m. Dictator let them down easy?
Headline:*A photo depicting the dictator and Taela Miera in a sad embrace on the landing zone.*The dictator explains, "Life has a funny way of taking people down strange roads. I am sorry."Apparently she lets her flings down with class. Did she learn the class post taking office or before?
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